At the mall we saw some of our friends and we chatted for a bit at the food court. It was all normal, until we saw Neal. Neal acted a bit strange around me, and he kept glancing at my body.After we walked away from Neal, Jeff asked me, "How did it feel?" Uncomfortable," I said."Well, you have two choices," Jeff told me. "You can ignore it and stay uncomfortable, or you can embrace it." What do you mean, embrace it?" I asked.Instead of answering, Jeff asked, "What made you uncomfortable?" Seeing Neal looking at my body, knowing that he was thinking about it naked," I told him."And you wanted him to ignore those thoughts, so you were uncomfortable," he told me. "But it happened, and it will happen again. You are not Rachel Miller, Ice Princess. You are Rachel Miller, Senior Class Slut. Embrace that. Become your inner slut." Become my inner slut!" I said, laughing."OK, maybe a little too self-help new-agey," Jeff agreed, laughing along with me. "But the core of what I said is true. When. Actually, the writing happens when I'mdriving the car, or cooking, or listening to my boss yap. The ideassometimes come in a flood; when I start to type, it is like opening agarden hose and then simply getting everything spayed out evenly. Most ofthe time, however, they bash me like rocks of all different sizes andshapes, and will keep bouncing off my head until I do something withthem; at the keyboard I juggle them and reshape them at the same time andtry to fit them into a structure. I've got to work with what I've got.And sometimes they come as nylon bags of birdseed falling from a younggirl's breast?So I've heard, but be careful with the inside jokes that only a few willget. You think that is how real writers work too?Real writers?? How would I know? Maybe the good ones are the ones thatcan create their own stones, maybe they are better at building from whatthey have or can juggle better, or maybe they always get to build andshape their structures with the water from the hose.But.
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